by Ahmed Sule, CFA
Dear Prime Minister Theresa May,
Re: International Court of Justice Ruling on Chagos Island
Let me begin by commending you for your tenacity. Despite everything done to unsettle you during the Brexit negotiations, you have stood your ground. Surely, this “Lady is not for turning.” Following the International Court of Justice (ICJ) ruling a couple of days that U.K. should hand the Chagos Island back to Mauritius, I am compelled to write this letter to encourage you not to give in.
It is absolutely ridiculous for the ICJ to declare our occupation of the remote Indian Ocean archipelago illegal. How dare they question us? We were right to seize the Island and give it to the USA to use as a military base. In my opinion, it was a fair exchange with the AmeriKKKans. We “swept and sanitised” the Island by trading the black “Tarzans or Men Fridays” in exchange for an $11 million discount for weapons of mass destruction.
Those who accuse the UKkk of committing crimes against humanity should get a life. We only forced women and children to sleep on a cargo of bird fertiliser, then dumped them in the Seychelles, where they were held in prison cells, and then shipped onto Mauritius, where they were taken to a derelict housing estate with no water or electricity. Out of the 2,000 people we kidnapped, only 26 families died from brutal poverty and 9 from suicide besides the hundreds who died of a broken heart. Why do we have to feel guilty for what we did? Hasn’t this been offset with our past good deeds like the Amritsar massacre, exacerbating the Irish Famine, partitioning India, building the Boer and Kenyan concentration camps, starving 4 million Bengali’s to death, exterminating the indigenous population of Australia and kidnapping tens of millions of Africans and making them slaves?
Prime Minister, you must expose the bias in the composition of the judges who gave the ICJ ruling. I understand that the President of the ICJ is Somali and out of the 14 judges involved in the case, the only judge who supported our cause was an AmeriKKKan. This is reverse racism. We need to revamp the ICJ as we can’t continue to allow people from third world countries to stop the British Imperial Project. We should liaise with the USA to ensure that the President of the ICJ is from Europe and the Chief Prosecutor of the International Criminal Court (ICC) is an AmeriKKKan citizen. If such arrangement works with the IMF and World Bank, I see no reason why it can’t work for the ICJ and the ICC. I also understand that the ruling has been referred back to the UN General Assembly where it will be debated. May I suggest we once again invoke the Royal Prerogative so that we can even bypass the UN? If this fails, can we use our UN veto?
As a nation, we should respect the rule of law especially international law on the condition that the law is in our favour. I am happy with the UKkk’s firm response that the ICJ does not have the jurisdiction to hear the case. If we yield to the ICJ then what was the purpose of setting up this international order along with the USA after World War II? I thought it was to protect our interest. When we set up the International Criminal Court was it not to jail African dictators who have committed crimes against humanity? If we don’t put these courts in order, very soon we may end up seeing the likes of George Bush and Tony Blair jailed by the ICC for their war crimes in Iraq.
Last week, I watched John Pilger’s documentary, “Stealing a Nation” which documented our theft of Chagos Island. What I loved most about the documentary was how we put pressure on the Chagossians to leave the island by gassing their dogs. I was surprised when I learnt that nearly a thousand dogs owned by the natives were rounded up and gassed using the exhaust fumes from American military vehicles and then put in the furnace where the people worked. That was a masterstroke. However, I am still at odds as to why Sir Bruce Greatbatch and Harold Wilson who came up with this idea were not awarded a Nobel Prize for Peace and why their statures have not been erected at Parliament Square. In invading the Island, gassing their dogs and ignoring the Chagossians right to self-determination no one can dare question our moral justification to tell Russia to stop meddling in Crimea and gassing their spies neither can they call us hypocrites for calling on Maduro to allow the Venezuelans to exercise their right to self-determination.
We cannot and must not yield to pressure from all these human rights activists to pull out of Chagos Island for two reasons. First, as a USA vassal state, it is not advisable to offend our puppeteer by kicking them out of their military base at Diego Garcia. With the risk of a hard Brexit, we need AmeriKKKa’s help to get their chlorinated chicken on our dinner plates.
Second, with Brexit around the corner, we can’t afford to lose any of our plantations and colonies, sorry I mean Overseas Territories. Even though we are a second-class world superpower, I don’t subscribe to the narrative that the sun has set on the British Empire after all we still have 14 colonies including Anguilla, Bermuda, Cayman, Falkland Islands, Gibraltar and Turks and Caicos Islands where the sun still does not set. If we lose the British Indian Ocean Territory, we will become the laughing stock of the world, especially in Europe. Rather than retreating, we should think of expanding our colonies. In the event of a no-deal Brexit, let’s concentrate on what we know best — invading countries, plundering their resources and moaning when people from the colonies end up in Britain.
Let me conclude by singing James Thomson’s classic song:
The dread and e-e-e-e-nvy of them all.
Rule, Britannia! Britannia, rule the waves.
Although we relish in making the black native slaves.
Britons never, never, never shall be slaves.
Rule, Britannia! Britannia, rule the waves.
Although we relish in making the black native slaves.
Britons never, never, never shall be slaves.
Selah.
Ahmed Sule, CFA
@Alatenumo
cc
Chagos Islanders Movement
Chagos Support UK
Conservative Party
Foreign and Commonwealth Office
Henry Smith, MP
International Court of Justice
Jeremy Corbyn, MP
Labour Party
Minister of State for the Commonwealth and the UN.
Secretary-General, United Nations
